Enneagram iPhone App: Know Your Type

Want to find the nearest sushi restaurant? There’s an app for that. Want to take credit cards using your iPhone? There’s an app for that. Want to have a quick but comprehensive reference to the Enneagram? There’s an app for that too!

"Know Your Type" is a wonderfully designed iPhone application that acts as game, learning tool, and handy reference. For 2.99, you can discover your type, learn self-development strategies, manage inter-type conflict, and so much more.



The interface is clean and easy to navigate. There are even videos of each of the nine types explaining personality from the inside.

Developed by Ginger Lapid-Bogda, PhD (The Enneagram in Business), this feature rich powerhouse of an app is a must have for any Enneagram enthusiast. And if you don’t have an iPhone? It works just as well with the iPad or iPod touch. Check it out in the App Store.

Enneagram Errors Part Deux

In the last blog entry we examined some Enneagrammatical errors that commonly affect or afflict us. Here are a few more errors that are natural and easy to fall into. With naming, a little vigilance, and some focused attention, they won’t catch us unaware.

Enneagram Evangelism. Being Too Enthused About the Enneagram

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me how they were turned off completely to the Enneagram by some well meaning friend/spouse/coworker bombarding them with enneagram enthusiasm, well, I’d have a roomful of nickels. And I hate rolling those things in wrappers so I’d just have to live with them. (Yes, I live rurally and my bank’s coin sorter is rarely working.)

Seriously though, this is a real Enneagrammatical error. The horror on someone’s face when I tell them that I teach and consult with the Enneagram of personality is not feigned. Generally, I listen to their tale of Ennea trauma, offer some empathy (because they’re right, it sucks to have anything pushed on you), and hopefully get them to separate the map from the messenger.

We Enneagram enthusiasts need to be gentle in our excitement. The one best way I’ve found to open someone else to the Enneagram is this: give them an introductory book, mine, David Daniels’, Helen Palmer’s, or Baron and Wagele’s. Tell them your type: “I’m a Seven (or Eight or One or whatever your type is.) This book might help you understand me better. It’s helped me understand myself more.”

We need to restrain ourselves from commenting on their type, even if they ask. They will read the book and begin the discovery process on their own. Let them get back to you. After all, one of the best parts of the Enneagram is having a common language in which to examine our differences and similarities on our path to understanding.

Being a Not Type

One of my friends who is a successful Enneagram teacher and consultant worked so very hard interrupting her passion, her Enneagram drive, that she became what she now refers to as a Not Four. Which is not the same as an evolved or self-actualizing Four.

Sure, the Enneagram gives us a choice to run our habit or passion rather than having it run us. But we need to remember that the passion IS energy. We want to avail ouselves of that energy for growth and transformation, to become our best selves.

My friend was working so hard going against her type, that she underused her type, her gifts. She realized that it’s not doing the opposite of what type first presents, but doing whatever we do with consciousness. Sometimes, Fourness is exactly what is needed. We can’t jettison our gifts; we merely need to be awake and choose right action. With practice and awareness, we can choose the gifts of all nine types, ultimately.


Stereotyping

Sevens are not committed. Eights don’t get their feelings hurt. Ones hold grudges. Not true. These are potential manifestations of the worldviews informing Sevens, Eights, and Ones. But don’t believe everything you read.

Yes, Sevens are visionary optimists, and most enjoy beginnings more than grunt work middles. Still, I’ve known myriad Sevens who are very committed to relationships, causes, and projects. They get things done, they complete, they are monogamous.

Eights may project invulnerability coming from a worldview where “only the strong survive”. But let me tell you that I know many a tenderhearted Eight of both genders whose feelings have been bruised because of the assumption that they are touch and don’t feel pain.

Ones can certainly see things in black and white terms and become irritated when others don’t come through, aren’t honest, or don’t pull their weight. But remember that the hallmark of Oneishness is the desire to correct, to make better. I know several Ones who don’t hold grudges - because they feel that it is wrong to do so. It’s not correct.

These are just a few examples, but it is all too easy to fall into stereotyping, even when we know better. Better to ask each individual “How is this situation (feelling etc) for you?” And it works even better when you both have that common Enneagram language.


Confusing The Map With The Territory

Just because we know the Enneagram type of another person does not mean we know him or her. The Enneagram is a rich and compelling map. But it is only a map. In a sense, it can be likened to our GPS devices in our cars or on our phones. It does a good job in certain known areas but it can lose its way or declare you off-road when it is unknown territory.

Each of us IS unknown territory. Our Enneagram type makes us more comprehensible to ourselves and others. It offers a map for growth both psychologically and spiritually. Still, much of our inner terrain is “off-road” even to ourselves. We are a learning in progress. We are growing ourselves.

One day, probably far in the future, it is my profound desire that we will no longer need the Enneagram map. I pray that we will connect intuitively, deeply with ourselves and others. Understanding will be like breathing and we will apprehend the true and holy territory of spiritual beings in human form. And then we might attend to other work, what I do not know.

I know, I know, it sounds like science fiction or utopia. But I can dream. In the meantime, I’ll try to use the map with delicacy and discretion, always reminding myself that there is so much more that is not known.

Enneagrammatical Errors: Common Enneagram Mistakes

Once we learn the Enneagram of personality, a whole world opens up to us. We discover that our perception of reality, well.. isn’t reality. It’s a mere facet, reflecting a limited worldview. We realize that we have been like the blind guys groping that elephant. The part we perceive is real enough, but we only apprehend a small part of the whole. As my teacher Helen Palmer says, each of the Enneagram types has one ninth of the truth.

The Enneagram map helps to be vigilant as to when we are falling back into what Tom Condon calls the ‘trance” of our type. We question the reality before us and try on perceptions of the other eight types in an endeavor to sense the whole Elephant, as it were.

Certainly, new worlds offered by the eight types we do not inhabit have much to teach us. Our own type illuminates much as well. Yet, we may slip into “knowing” by virtue of our Enneagram knowledge too soon. We may fall prey to Enneagrammatical Errors.

Here are a couple of common ones that most of us (including me) have fallen prey to.

Point Envy
I’m not sure, but I”m guessing that Sevens get this one a tad more often than the other types. Thankfully, I can’t remember how many times I heard from a well meaning Enneagram enthusiast that they wished they were a type Seven. All I can say to that is “Oh no you don’t! You don’t wish you had my inside.”
Each type comes with its own set of problems and heartache, gifts notwithstanding. Speaking from the Seven perspective, I can truthfully say that what looks like happiness and optimism from the outside (even felt at first from the inside) often is the manhole cover over a huge, dark sewer of pain.

And until we travel below ground through that muck, all the twists and turns through the shadow, true joy eludes us. Believe me when I say that I would not wish that horrifying journey on anyone. Except maybe a fellow Seven who’s ready to become “real.”

My friends who inhabit the other eight types of the Enneagram have their own dragons to slay on their journeys. Point Envy is natural, perhaps, but misguided. (And for more on how Envy plays out read the previous Blog Entry: An Inquiry Into Envy For All Enneagram Types) So the next time you find yourself wishing you were a different type, count your blessings. The devil you know and all that....

Instant Typing
People I’ve known for a couple hours when they discover I am an Enneagram teacher invariably ask “What type am I?” Well, I don’t know. and anyone who says they do is cantilevered out there a little too far.

Because the Enneagram map describes an internally held worldview and beliefs about reality, there is really no way TO know. I just give my stock (and true) answer: “No one knows how you feel inside except you. Anyone can have any trait or characteristic that we notice externally given the right situation. It’s why we exhibit that trait that illuminates the internal landscape and narrows the search for type.” It works. They get it, dare I say, instantly. Feel free to use it next time someone asks you.

The Enneagrammatical error of instant typing occurs when people actually believe that they can type others after a few hours, minutes, days. Or even, gasp, by looking at a photo. I don’t care how talented, enlightened, or how many years you’ve spent studying/teaching the enneagram, you cannot tell someone’s internal terrain just by looking at them. And if someone types you, even if they know you well? Take it with a boulder sized grain of salt and do the work yourself.

The Enneagram is a map of internal terrain and an inner worldview, best learned by self- inquiry and self-observation. True, books, classes, websites, and trained professionals can offer tools to the seeker to help them narrow down their type to break its hold. But the discovery process is an individual one, exploring oneself with the map as a instruction guide for growing oneself.

We’ll look at more enneagrammatical errors in subsequent blog posts. Some of the mistakes we’ll address will include:

Enneagram Evangelism. Being Too Enthused About the Enneagram

Being a Not Type

Stereotyping

Confusing The Map With The Territory

Have you noticed, fallen prey to, or been the unlucky recipient of other Enneagrammatical Errors? Or have a tale to tell about one of these? Leave your wisdom here in the comments; we learn by sharing.

An Inquiry into Envy for All Enneagram Types

Envy. It’s an issue, indeed it is the passion or drive, for Enneagram type Four. So the rest of us don’t need to concern ourselves much with it. Or do we?

Barbara Arney, MA, presented an intriguing look into envy as a human drive that affects all the types at the recent International Enneagram Association meeting in San Francisco.

Through lecture and dyad exercises, we were able to discover how envy plays out in our lives, generally and vis a vis our Enneagram types. We learned about envying, but we explored what it is like to be envied and how disempowering that can be.

And surprisingly, we found that envy can offer us a gift. Opening to envy consciously can open us to what we thirst for in ourselves rather than looking outside for it in others.

Barbara posits that a major underlying force of envy involves a “fierce attraction to an external good while resisting the internal good.” We project (and we do not have to be Sixes to do this) our own good or desire for good onto others. When we take our inherent goodness and put it on others, we diminish ourselves.

Concurrently, when we envy someone we also diminish them by seeing only an idealized part of them rather than the complex, multifaceted being in front of us.

There’s hope, however. Whether experiencing the victimization of envy or being envied, Barbara tells us, we can avail ourselves of practices to develop a durable relationship with the Good.

Some of these practices include:
Grounding in the body - dropping into sensation and relaxation.

Centering exercises to steady the mind.

Recognizing your own reactivity of envy/envied: gossip, sarcasm, withdrawal, judgment, hatred, independence.

Keep an ongoing list of all the little fulfillments in your life.

Perhaps most important is to acknowledge your desire for good that is underneath your feelings of envy.

These practices seem simple. And they are. But they are not easy and we must be vigilant and diligent to change the patterns of envy in our lives. Only then may we be able to recognize and nurture the good in ourselves.

Of course, our first step is to notice when we are envying or being envied and our reactions. Self observation will enable us to notice its effects and allow us to embody the above practices to break envy’s insidious hold.

How, when, whom do you envy? How does envy manifest for you or your type? What are your reactions when others envy you? Let’s explore these questions together here in the comments.

More about Barbara Arney: She is a certified Enneagram instructor and corporate trainer/coach with the Rapid Change Group teaching brain-based tools to business. She is offering a virtual course/community called Women’s Ways: The Power of your Passions...A September Inquiry with the Enneagram. It includes conference calls each Wed. that are recorded, a centering CD, and two 30 minute coaching sessions, and more. For info, please contact Barbara directly at BarbaraA@comcast.net or on her Central time cell phone at 612-387-3399.

Enneagram Practice: Sometimes It’s Better To Receive

My husband, Dewitt, and I recently traveled to Europe for a combination of work and pleasure. Our first stop was France, so I dutifully brushed up on my traveler’s French, so that I could at least attempt to honor the language and culture that I was visiting.

And as my husband so aptly pointed out, one needs to be careful about speaking her piece well. Because when a French person answers you, it will be in rapid, colloquial language. And you will understand only a fraction of what you are receiving.
What has happened is that with quickie learning CD’s and the like, we’ve learned how to send a message but not necessarily how to receive it. This happens oh so frequently even when speaking our own language. In our own culture. We are gifted at sending but oftentimes, we fail at receiving.

And it happens when we interact with someone who inhabits a different Enneagram type than our own. Learning about the Enneagram types gives us a quickie course in culture, language, and worldview. But just because we might be conversant in the guidebook that the Enneagram offers, does not mean that we understand this other type, this other person.

The Enneagram, when used to its fullest, is about receiving. And receiving and receiving and receiving. We may be very good at sending, but sending messages does not enhance our understanding. Receiving does. Listening does. Asking for assistance in navigating and understanding another’s world does.

Receiving requires a passive, accepting stance. Culturally, in the U.S. at least, we are not educated in or applauded for taking such a stance. Ask any Nine who has had to “ramp up” to fit in to our Threeish milieu.

Here’s a practice we can all try. When next we are in communication with another whether we knew their Enneagram predilection or not, let’s just listen. Let’s experiment by trying to receive without sending. Sure, ask questions to help clarify the receiving when appropriate, but let’s just open a receptive space to experience another culture.

Let’s report back here and share how this felt. For us. The Enneagram is not about collecting knowledge or esoterica. It IS about understanding, empathy, and experiencing another as they experience themselves. I for one, look forward to the day when we no longer need the Enneagram guidebook to develop compassion and understanding, when empathy with one another will be as natural as breathing. Maybe not in my lifetime. Then again, maybe......................

An Enneagram Eight For A Day...Or a Nine Or a One...

"Can you ever switch types?" I’m frequently asked. "No" is the short answer. Our Enneagram personality home base is home base - which seems to be hardwired into us.

Still, as we grow and change, we can avail ourselves of attributes and strengths beyond the intrinsic ones of our own type. Heck, we can do it whether we know the Enneagram or not, although the map helps.

The Enneagram describes nine distinct world views. We might also envision the types as nine personality gifts, each of which illuminates a part of human potential.

Can we purposefully embody the positive traits of another type; a gift of human potential not innately our own? Can we access the appropriate attribute for a given situation, even if it is not natural or unconscious for us? Surely it is worth a try as we attempt to grow and actualize ourselves.

I remember one time when I was embarking on a business trip to teach the Enneagram to a group of women business leaders on the East Coast. My West coast flight was to leave in the early am, so I needed to catch an airport shuttle bus for the 1.5 hour ride to SFO.

Ordinarily, the bus drivers were ruthless about not waiting for latecomers or holding up departure for any reason. On this day, for unknown reasons, the driver waited for late folks he knew were coming for 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes.

This Seven slammed into One. I felt myself tighten up in my body, my teeth clenched, and I became anxious and outraged. I stopped myself and took a long hard look at my own reaction. What type might possibly have an attribute that could help me in my current situation.

I thought about my son, a go-with-the-flow Nine. How would he handle this? Well, I mused to myself, he would kick back in his comfortable, warm seat on the bus and either doze or open a book to read.

And if he missed the flight? Well, there were other flights to the East Coast, and the class wasn’t till the next day. Things just have a way of working out.

So I pretended. I acted like my Niney son. I stopped looking at my watch and started reading my book. My jaw muscles unclenched and I relaxed.

I had a most pleasant ride to the airport, got off at my stop (lateish), walked into the terminal, got my boarding pass, and walked right onto the plane since they were boarding already. (yes, it was pre 9-11.) It remains one of my favorite trip experiences.

One of my Enneagram students (a One) told me that she wanted to be more free and lusty with her husband during sexual closeness So she pretended that she was an Eight the next time they were intimate and claimed that it was the best time they’d ever had in bed.

While we can never truly “know” what it is to be another type or even to manifest the gifts in the specific flavor in which they experience themselves, we can try to expand out of our own limited Enneagram box. We may be surprised at the range we have available to us.

Have you always wanted to be a Four? A Three? A One? Try it for an afternoon or a day or in a situation where those gifts seem called for. Let us know how it works!

Is Simon Cowell An Eight? Typing Famous People

I read recently that Simon Cowell on American Idol is an Eight. Because he’s blunt and brutally honest. While that indeed is a characteristic attributed to Eights, any of us can exhibit that same trait given the right set of circumstances. I acted that way myself when I was head nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. And I’m a Seven with a Six wing.

My own best guess about Simon Cowell is that he is a Four. (I have my reasons but they don't matter.) When confronted by the host of the show, Ryan Seacrest, a few weeks ago, Simon shrunk back from the conflict, muttering that it was “uncomfortable.” Most Eights will rise to such an occasion, ready for a good battle. For the same reason, some other Enneagram aficionados believe he’s a Six.

Really, though, I don’t know Simon Cowell. I have no idea what his Enneagram type is. I like his bluntness, wherever it comes from.

I’ll admit it. Attempting to type famous people is fun. Think of it as an ennea exercise, practicing our understanding of the hallmarks of type. But that’s all it is.

I am always amazed (and a little chagrined) when Enneagram enthusiasts, authors, and others claim to know definitively the type of some famous person. I know that I’ve fallen into the same trap myself in the past.

The truth is that unless we personally know said famous person AND that they have confirmed for us their type, we have no idea of their Enneagram proclivity.

Sure, we can see traits and characteristics. We can even feel energy, an individual’s force field, which supplies more clues as to type. But as any good Enneagram observer will tell you, we don’t know diddly about how a person truly feels inside unless s/he tells us.

The Enneagram describes nine very different ways of perceiving, acting, and being in the world. Each of these unique viewpoints stems from an internal worldview based on a set of assumptions and beliefs about what it takes to survive and thrive. For example, the Eight worldview can be rather simplistically described as “The World is A Jungle and Only The Strong Survive.” The Nines believe the world is at its best when we are One with everything and harmony rules. And so on.

From the outside, it is difficult if not impossible to tell another’s type. Time and again, I’ve worked with families who were conversant with the Enneagram (even Enneagram teachers) and did not realize the inner landscape of the members of their own close nuclear family. This underscores for me the best use of the Enneagram as an invitation to understanding through inquiry. “How is it for you?” we might ask, creating an open space for learning about another.

My teachers, Helen Palmer and David Daniels, conducted panels of type (as do all of us certified in the Narrative Tradition of the Enneagram). Their greatest skill (and gift) was approaching each person on a panel with the curiosity and openness of a child. Although they were “experts”, they questioned as if they had no idea what a given person of a known type might say. Hence, we continually learned more about type and individuals. By genuinely wishing to understand another’s internal terrain, they avoided typing or stereotyping vis a vis a given set of external traits.

My son is a Nine. He knows his own internal landscape well, having learned the Enneagram at a very early age. Still, looking at him from the outside when he is working at his high pressure, high profile job, it would be tempting to see him as a Three. He exhibits the adaptability, productivity, and selling charm of a Three. But when he goes home at night, it’s back to Nine land. When he is anxious about something, he looks like the archetype of Six as he scans for danger and worst case scenario. And then he returns to home base: Nine.

So whether we are looking at famous people or our own best friend, it’s important to remember that traits don’t make the man. Or the woman. Any of us might exhibit any trait in a given situation. WHY we do it is much more telling. And the only way we’ll know...... is to ask.