Dancing with the Enneagram Part I

The Enneagram is such a powerful map that it can help us in nearly every aspect of our daily lives. It helps us to understand ourselves (and grow ourselves.) And it helps us understand others’ internal landscapes enough to open a space for mutual connection and compassion. In other words, we don’t take everything another says or does personally when it is simply a reflection of a different, equally valid worldview.

I’ve been dancing hula for 12 years. In that space of time, I’ve had a total of five kumu hula or hula masters teach me. The Enneagram was invaluable in honoring each of them. And it saved me from confusion, hurt, and misunderstandings that inevitably develop when we believe everyone see the world in the same way.

My first hula teacher we’ll call him “N”, was a sweet, warm Six. He coaxed and coddled us. He never yelled. He reassured us that we would not die if we performed in public by foreseeing the worst that could happen, naming it, and letting us know we’d still survive. He was the perfect teacher for a tentative beginner.

However N would not appear on video because he believed that people might get hold of it and misuse it. He was never clear quite how or why. Knowing he was a Six made it easy for me to understand how scary this might be and to just let it go, even though so many other Kumu Hula were allowing students to use new technology to reinforce learning with the understanding that they were not to share it.

Some of my hula sisters had no map for understanding and were irritable, challenging him on his rule. Which only reinforced that nothing good could come of this. Already it was causing problems.

My favorite Six story about N is this: we were invited to the opening of a sacred site that had been restored as a hula platform high on a hill overlooking our whole island. Another hula master’s halau (school) had initiated the restoration and invited a few halaus and many elders to this ceremony.

Each hula master was to chant or oli a prayer. When it came N’s turn, he blanched and said, “I can’t. I can’t chant in front of him, he’s a hula master.”

“You can do it,” I whispered. “Remember, you’re a hula master, too.” He looked startled, then walked up and delivered his chant. I think he actually “forgot” that he was an equal to the other Kumu Hula there.

I’d heard about Kumu F long before I met him. “It’s all about him,” claimed a friend. “He’s got to be the center of attention.”

The more I heard, the more I fashioned him in my mind as a Three. I was prepared.

The first evening of a week long intensive, he gathered us together. “You need to know a couple of things about me,” he said. “#1, It’s my way or the highway. #2 I tend to be blunt and to the point. Deal with it. #3 There’s no crying in hula.”

I still dance with this wonderful, strong Eight Kumu once a year. Some say he is arrogant. Perhaps, but I’d say he’s accomplished. As a historian, singer-songwriter, educator and cultural resource, even elders defer to him. (Elders in Hawai`i are the top of the food chain, just the opposite of our mainland American culture.)

Dealing with him, I didn’t take it personally when he corrected us strongly. In comparison to N, it might have seemed harsh. But he was merely being blunt and clear. Most important, I would meet his energy. There’s no crying in hula, after all.

As I knew him longer, I began to see the move to Two as a large part of him. As an Eight, he hated anyone to call attention to his loving care and attention. So I learned acceptance of his gifts without too much thank you or gushing.

My favorite Eight to Two story? He had written a poignant good-bye song for a dear friend’s death. We were to learn and perform it for the first time that week. As we practiced over and over, the energy in the room became sad and heavy. We were lost in grief as we danced.

“Okay,” he snapped. “That’s it. Go change clothes. We need a mood change - time for chocolate, coffee, and shopping. Get moving, we leave in 10 minutes.”

After our antioxidant and retail therapy, we were able to continue dancing and expressing the emotion of the song without being overwhelmed by it. Gut knowing and caretaking. Eight meets Two.

There is a Hawaii`ian proverb about hula: A`ohe pau ka `ike i ka halau ho`okahi which translates as “not all knowledge is taught in one school.” And as we Enneagram enthusiasts know: not all reality is contained in one type or worldview. When we open to other ways of perceiving and being in the world, we are expanding our experience, of ourselves and one another.

Stay tuned for Part 2 where I am lucky enough to learn hula from a Five, a Three, and a Nine.

U.S.A.: Has a Three Culture Moved to Six?

Most Enneagram experts have identified the United States as a Threeish culture. We as a nation believe in success, productivity, and the power of image. Our cosmology could be summed up in two of our more successful ad campaigns: Nike’s “Just Do It” and Canon’s “Image is Everything.” As a whole, we ‘ve traditionally been an upbeat, can-do country, if a little too self-absorbed and self-congratulatory.

These days, however, the USA looks much more Sixish, boomeranging between counterphobic and phobic, fearful of just about everything. We could blame the press (which has always been counterphobic) or the 24-7 “entertain-news” on television.

We could foist responsibility on eight years of a counterphobic Sixish administration advocating certainty as an admirable leadership trait or a distinct “us vs them” philosophy in dealing with other nations, cultures, or religions.

We could point to the shock of 9-11 as the beginning of our move from Three to Six. All of these may indeed be factors. However, it is likely that there is more to it.

Six is not the stress point for Three; that would be Nine. Still we can access the high or low side of any of the points available to us: heart, stress, and wings. And right now the U.S. seems solidly in the low side of Six.

We citizens have become cynical and pessimistic. We don’t believe our government officials are trustworthy. And we look for every opportunity to debunk them as authority. We are similarly disillusioned with our free market and private enterprise given the recent meltdown of our economy.

The government itself suffers from analysis paralysis and very little seems to get done. (Although we may actually get health care reform......)

When I talk with friends and acquaintances of any political leanings, they profess fear of change and fear of the status quo in the same breath. When I ask what we as a nation should do in any given situation, they blink like deer in the headlights or reiterate what is wrong with any idea put forth by government, private enterprise, or pundits.

We are lost in an “us vs them” mentality, both abroad and here at home. It’s the U.S. against jihadists and those who won’t stand with us. It’s naturalized citizens vs illegal (and sometimes legal) immigrants. It’s Republican vs Democrat and liberal vs conservative. And we are not even civil in our debate or certainty.

Does the U.S. need to return to its former Threeness to recover? Perhaps not. We might be able to avail ourselves of the high side of Six for starters. The ability to unite and work tirelessly for a cause, loyalty to a higher purpose, trouble shooting to avoid pitfalls while moving ahead toward an ideal worth manifesting, egalitarian acceptance of others, and a deep understanding of the strength in numbers that can bring us all together.

Has America lost its Three overlay? Are we solidly in the Six worldview? Is there a prescription for what ails us and what might it be? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Finding Enneagram Type Via Hallmark Characteristics Part II

In this blog entry, we continue the exploration of the Hallmark characteristics of type for Types Four, Five, and Six.

Type Four - The Romantic

Characteristics

º Idealization of the distant, dissatisfaction with present reality
º Sense of something missing from life - others have it.
º Attachment to melancholy; deep feelings are more
important than mere happiness.
º Search for authenticity.
º Affinity with intense in life: birth, death, etc.
º Sense of being different than others, unique, special.
º Desire for emotional intensity - wants to be met emotionally.
º Attraction to beauty, strong aesthetic sense.
º Mood, manners, luxury, good taste as external boosts to
self-esteem.


Hallmark Characteristic
The hallmark or defining characteristic for the Romantic is the pervasive sense of something vital missing from his/her life. The Four doesn’t know what is missing, just that it is essential to her completeness. At different times, the Romantic may decide that the missing piece is a job or a person, even a place. S/he will fixate on this desired object, often until it becomes attainable, then discard it or feel dissatisfied when the feeling of “something missing” still remains.

Type Five - the Observer

Characteristics

º Privacy
º Maintaining non-involvement, withdraw and tighten
the belt as first line of defense.
º Delayed emotions. Feelings withheld until safely alone
º Compartmentalizing of time commitments in life.
º Wanting predictability - to know what will happen.
º Overvaluing self-control. “Drama is for lesser beings”
º Interest in special knowledge and systems
º Mental clarity, detachment from emotional bias


Hallmark Characteristic
The hallmark or defining characteristic of the Five Observer is detachment. The ability to disengage may be activated by a social event, a family discussion, a presentation or performance, or any interaction. Many Fives actually describe a separate “Observer self” located above or just behind him that watches him interact or perform. This keeps the Five from being overwhelmed by people, emotions, or other stimuli.


Type Six - the Loyal Skeptic

Characteristics

º Scan environment for clues that explain inner sense of threat
º Intuitive style of powerful imagination and single-pointed
attention, both natural to the fearful mind.
º Authority problems - distrust
º Identification with underdog causes
º Issues with incompletion - success is exposure to danger
º Suspicious of others’ motives: bullshit detectors
º Skepticism and doubt
º Analysis paralysis - thinking replaces doing
º Heightened fear when things are going well - when’s the other
shoe going to drop?


Hallmark Characteristic
The hallmark of the Loyal Skeptic involves seeing the downsides or dangers, almost immediately, whether it involves visualizing a worst case scenario in graphic detail or ferreting out hidden motives. While the reactions may differ: the Phobic or Flight Six may be fearful and avoiding danger while the Counterphobic or Fight Six may jump in with both feet to prove s/he can overcome potential pitfalls, both will have imagined the worst case. In the case of hidden motives, the Phobic Six may be watchful and wary while the Counterphobic Six will confront, poking and prodding to get the true colors shown.

Energies of the Enneagram Head Triad

Enneagram types Five, Six, and Seven make up the head center triad. The emotion that fuels their drives is fear. Their energies or force fields reflect the internalized, externalized, and forgotten aspects of this emotion.

Type Five
Triad: Head
Emotion: Fear - Internalized
Drive: Avarice
Energy: “Invisible” Detachment

Five represents the internalized version of fear. The mental center creates a haven where Fives can retreat. The realm of ideas and knowledge will keep one safe. The drive for the Five is avarice, greed for knowledge and privacy. Fives fear being overwhelmed by outside stimuli, emotions, or events (surprises) they can’t prepare for. Five’s strategic defense of withdrawal includes the withdrawal of life force to an internal safe place, like a castle with the drawbridge pulled up.

Those of us who inhabit the rest of the Enneagram Points experience this absence of vital being. The energy is simply “not there”. The body is present and seems to occupy space, but the force field is gone. As a result, the Five can avoid being “seen” and their presence at a meeting or event may not be remembered. Worse, it may bring about the feared intrusion as we try to “find” the Five, energetically. If the Five has not withdrawn, we can experience running into a very strong boundary when we “intrude.” We seem to bounce off a very strong force field - a seeming “get back” vibe.

When dealing with a Five’s energy, take special care to pull your own force field back close to your body. Be careful not to overwhelm the Five with your energy. Respect the Five’s strong boundaries.

Type Six
Triad: Head
Emotion: Fear - Externalized
Drive: Fear/Doubt
Energy: Fight Six - Jabbing Confrontation
Flight Six - “Poised For Flight” Scanning

Six is the externalized version of Fear. The mental centers capacity for imagination is highly developed in the Six, who continually “imagines” the worst case scenario, and then plans to keep himself safe. Doubt is the drive that manifests as a natural outgrowth of Fear - and Sixes doubt nearly everything.

Six’s two manifestations of Flight and Fight, have very different ways of expressing Fear, hence they have very different energetics. The Fight Six jumps right in with both feet, when up against a scary, dangerous world. Action is the antidote to fear. They may even purposely engage in daredevil pursuits to exert control over or conquer their fear. Hidden motives can be brought to light if you confront others - provoke them until the truth comes out.

Not surprisingly, the energy of the Fight Six can feel jabbing to the rest of us. There is a push, then a withdraw of the force field. Another push, withdraw. It is the energetic equivalent of the Cowardly Lion confronting the Scarecrow and Tin Man. The Fight Six checks us out like a prizefighter circling his opponent, waiting for the worst.

Phobic or Flight Six asks for confirmation. S/he scans the environment for dangers. Charm and warmth are used to disarm potential enemies. A childlike sweetness can evoke protector impulses in the rest of us. Energy is high up around the head and out from the body in 360 degrees - swirling and scanning the environment like radar. Like a fearful rabbit, energy comes forward and scurries back in a repeating pattern as trust develops.

Keep your answers, promises, and energy rock-solid when dealing with a Six. Stay focused and in your body. Don’t react to the Fight Six by pushing your force field at him - like the Cowardly Lion when slapped by Dorothy - he’ll crumple.

Type Seven
Triad: Head
Emotion: Fear - Forgotten
Drive: Gluttony
Energy: Airy Excitement

Sevens are driven by Fear, but “forgot” they were afraid. The mental center is used as a diversion from what invokes fear, by imagining pleasant future options and possibilities. Even memory can be affected, and only pleasant memories are easily recalled, or a positive interpretation is placed on remembered, painful events.

The drive for Seven is Gluttony - for life experience, adventure, and possibility. So the Seven races from course to course, frenetically sampling life’s banquet in an effort to stay high and optimistic.

The energy of Sevens feels airy and effervescent. Their excitement can be contagious, but also exhausting. Like a ping pong ball giddily bouncing in a chaotic pattern, the Seven is the energetic equivalent of Peter Pan, grabbing ideas like fairy dust from the air, then sprinkling and leaving them as quickly when something else has grabbed his attention. If you try to focus or limit a Seven, swooooosh - their energy is out the door to Never Never Land, even if their body remains in the room.

It is easy to get caught up in a Seven’s enthusiastic energy and lose focus. When dealing with a Seven, stay focused and centered. Keep your own energy or force field lower in your body, closer to the ground. This will help prevent your getting caught up in the Seven’s tornado of visions and ideas, losing sight of your own priorities.