Finding Enneagram Type Via Hallmark Characteristics

It can be baffling when one is trying to determine his/her Enneagram type. We try to find ourselves in the lists of characteristics. Some fit from all of the types, others don’t fit at all. How can we sift through the information and find our home base vis a vis the Enneagram?

First of all, we do not have to exhibit all the characteristics of type for that to be our type. The Enneagram describes an internal terrain, a world view. Still, initially we may have more success in narrowing our search for type by finding what characteristics resonate rather than seeing our worldview. Our worldview is so much a part of our Enneagram filter that we might not see it at all until we have had ample time for self-observation.

All characteristics do not have the same weight or importance, when describing Enneagram type. Listening to numerous panels and self-aware exemplars of Type, I’ve noted what I call a Hallmark characteristic for each of the Nine types. While it can be helpful to look at lists of characteristics; the Hallmark seems to be the Big Dog. Finding the Hallmark characteristic might help you (or your family, friends, and cohorts) to discover type more easily.

With that in mind, here is a partial list of characteristics plus the Hallmark characteristic for Types One, Two, and Three.

Type One - The Perfectionist

Characteristics

º Compulsive need to act on what seems correct
º One right way, black and white thinking
º Relentless stream of self-criticizing thoughts
º Mentally comparing oneself to others and concern
about criticism
º Belief in one’s own moral and ethical superiority
º Procrastination stemming from fear of making a
mistake
º Do-gooder. Do what “should” be done rather than
what one wants to.
º Trapdoor phenomenon - pleasure escape valve
º Scorched Earth policy - scrap whole project and start over if even one small part is wrong.

In the case of the Perfectionist One, the hallmark or defining characteristic is the relentlessness of the inner critic. Many Ones describe it as a critical Voice that constantly evaluates, judges, and harangues the Perfectionist. Some Ones are critical of other people, other Ones keep their critical thoughts to themselves. Regardless, every Perfectionist seems to suffer from an ongoing, internal critique through nearly every minute of every day.


Type Two - The Giver

Characteristics

º Gaining approval and avoiding rejection
º Pride in importance of oneself in relationship: “they’d never make it without me”. Being indispensable

º Pride in knowing and meeting others needs
º Giving to get - the hook.
º Confusion in identifying personal needs.
º Altering self to please others
º Making a difference to others lives, the world, etc.
º Hysteria or anger when emerging real needs collide
with the needs of the others that one serves.


The defining characteristic for the Giver Two is the need to become central, even indispensable to another “chosen” individual. One Two went so far as to explain, “It’s almost as if I establish my center in the person I am interested in being important to.” Whether in work, friendship, or intimate relationships, the Giver believes that those significant to him/her would never make it without the Giver’s help or support. The unconscious drive of Pride underlies the Two’s sense that s/he alone knows what the significant other needs, and s/he will provide it.

Type Three - The Performer

Characteristics

º Goal is everything.
º Efficiency
º Competition and avoidance of failure
º Love comes from what you do rather than who you are
º Feelings suspended until job gets done
º Presentation of image that’s adjusted to gain approval.
º Multitasking - do several things at once
º Run over others to get to goal, apologize later


The defining characteristic of a Performer is excessive identification with his image or that which he produces: “I am my image” or “I am what I do.” The feeling that underneath the image or productivity is a “black hole” of nothing is the hallmark of a Three. The Three believes that he has sold us a package of goods: himself. Fearing that he is nothing but a fraud, the Performer must keep doing, producing, selling, dazzling to keep from being found out.

These are the hallmarks as I’ve heard them described. Let me know if this resonates for you, if you already know your type. We learn more about type through self inquiry, self observation, and subsequent sharing of insights gleaned through these processes.

I’ll be sharing characteristics and Hallmarks for the other six types in upcoming blog entries.

(material adapted from The Everyday Enneagram book.)

Mountain Highs and Lows Enneagram Style

Every summer I migrate to a mountain town situated on a stunning alpine lake. A town, community, or region will exhibit its own overlay of Enneagram type and my warm weather home is no different. I move from my Niney home in Molokai, Hawaii to Sevenish South Lake Tahoe.

It’s a bit of a culture shock when I first arrive. The people are chatty, perky, and almost unbearably upbeat. I AM a Seven, but it still is hard for me. I’ve settled so deeply into my Nine home where people don’t talk a lot, don’t care what you do, and like to just hang out, eat, and enjoy music.

There are multiple activities, parties, and events. Rarely does a day pass without an invitation or five. And if you hire someone to build, repair, or do something? Or commit to attending your event? Well, they may or may not make it. In this recreational paradise, the siren song of something better to do is always exerting a pull.

It is so prevalent that locals have a phrase for it: they call it “getting Tahoed” when people don’t show up as scheduled. It’s frustrating but in true Seven fashion, it is just reframed in a more positive light as one of the costs of living in outdoor recreation heaven.

Contrast this mountain town with Aspen, Colorado - Threeish mecca of movie stars, moguls, and millionaires. The first time I went to Aspen, I met no fewer than four beauty queens in the first two hours. Names were dropping like snowflakes. Everyone had predicates up the kazoo and no one was shy about letting you know who they were. I can’t remember when I’ve seen so many beautiful, seemingly accomplished people in one place. It was glittery, exciting, and utterly exhausting.

At least, Tahoe and Aspen know who they are for now. There is tension when a town begins to morph or change into a new Enneagram style. Some years ago, I was asked to do a book signing in Sun Valley, Idaho. Like Aspen and Tahoe, this small mountain town is a hiking and skiing paradise.

The day after the book signing, I taught an all day Enneagram class to a group of Sun Valley residents. We began discussing the Enneagram styles of towns and regions. There was a distinct split among the old-timers and the folks relatively new to the area. Those who’d lived there fifteen or more years decried the changes in their community from a “fun-loving, anything goes” attitude to a more “status conscious, flashy” demeanor.

The newcomers thought it was just “hip” and “cool”, even “special”. They loved that big stars now acted in the local theatre and that people found it a “destination”. Yet they began to see how change was chafing at some and that Sun Valley was experiencing growing pains. While the old-timers began to acknowledge that not all of the growth was bad.

Knowing the pluses and minuses of our own Enneagram styles helps us navigate and grow ourselves. Ditto for the regions we live in whose Enneagram overlay affects us in ways we may not realize when unconscious of their impacts. As we become more aware, we are less likely to fall prey to the downsides or lows of our own Enneagram types and of the overlays of the regions in which we live. And we can celebrate the gifts or highs of the same.

Songlines of the Enneagram

I was teaching the Enneagram to a group of military wives (amazing, strong women) at Pearl Harbor some years ago. As usually happens, most could relate to many of the types. Still one or two of the Enneagram points are unknown territory initially. One woman (self-identified as a One) could not understand the melancholy of Four. “I just don’t get it; how someone can feel that way and not want to get over it.”

Her best friend finally turned to her and said, “You know how you like to listen to country western music and weep, and you don’t want to be cheered up? It’s like that.”

“Oh,” she breathed.

Music resonates in a deep place within us. Song lyrics can illuminate type while the musical styling gives us another way to experience one of the nine worldviews. I recommend songs to my clients and students as one way in to begin understanding each of the.Enneagram types. Here are a few songlines that offer just a hint of the internal terrains.

Point One - The Perfectionist

“Nothin’ but a big bunch of nothin’
Drivin’ me insane.
Cause there ain’t no voice that’s louder
Than the one inside my brain.

Hey you go on
Go on and let me be
Quit hollerin’ at me
Quit hollerin’ at me
Sweet serenity
Quit hollerin’ at me.”

Song: Quit Hollerin’ At Me
Artist: John Prine


Point Two - The Giver

“You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.

Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes I will
You’ve got a friend.”

Song: You’ve Got a Friend
Artists: James Taylor / Carol King


Point Three - The Performer

“I’ve proved who I am so many times
In magnetic strips worn thin
And each time I was someone else
And everyone was taken in.

I never knew what you all wanted
So I gave you everything
All that I could pillage
All the spells that I could sing.”

Song: Pacing the Cage
Artist: Jimmy Buffett


Point Four - The Romantic

“So the next time you see me drowning
In that quicksand up to my neck.
Before you grab my hand to save me
Why don’t you ask me if I’m finished yet.

But if I truly want to be happy
I can pray for that missing piece
To the break in the cup that holds love
Inside of me.”

Song: Break In The Cup
Artist: David Wilcox


Point Five - The Observer

“Safely from my window
To the streets below
I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock. I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain.
And an island never cries.”

Song: I Am A Rock
Artists: Simon and Garfunkel


Point Six - the Loyal Skeptic

“Oh the first days are the hardest days
Don’t you worry anymore.
‘Cause when life looks like easy street,
There is danger at your door.”

Song: Uncle John’s Band
Artists: The Grateful Dead


Point Seven - The Optimist

“Visions of good times that
brought so much pleasure
Makes me want to go back again...

I can’t look back for too long.
There’s just too much to see
Waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can’t go wrong.

With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes.
Nothing remains quite the same.
With all of my running
And all of my cunning
If I couldn’t laugh, I just would go insane.”

Song: Changes in Latitude
Artist: Jimmy Buffett



Point Eight - The Straight-Shooter

“It’s like going to confession
Every time I hear you speak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak.

Complain about the present
And blame it on the past.
I’d like to find your inner child
And kick its little ass.

Get over it
Get over it
All the bitchin’ and moanin’
And pitchin’ a fit
Get over it. Get over it.”

Song: Get Over It
Artists: The Eagles


Point Nine - The Mediator

“Let it be, let it be. Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.

Song: Let it Be
Artists: The Beatles

“I used to run those battlelines
Trying to smooth over what got said.
I thought it was my duty
To plead and to implore.
But I caught too much crossfire
In your covert war.”

Song: Covert War
Artist: David Wilcox

Of course, a song by itself cannot communicate the complexity of type. It serves merely as an opening, a blossoming of empathy and a beginning point for inquiry to learn more. Songlines touch our heart for an emotional connection with our own types and others. Perhaps you have some favorite songs that resonate with an aspect of Enneagram type - share them with us here.

And visit iTunes to download the above songs for yourself.

Enneagram Typing - Can It Slide Into Stereotyping?

The short answer is absolutely! Just because we know someone’s type doesn’t mean that they own and exhibit every characteristic of the type. They may not even relate to what might be considered major characteristics.

I remember one time some years ago attending a gathering of Enneagram aficionados. We didn’t know one another well, but we all shared our types. A group of 10 or so was over by the buffet table discussing intimate relationship when someone turned to me and said “Of course, you’re a Seven so you have a hard time making a commitment.”

Well, that’s simply not true for me. Maybe it was my childhood, maybe my Six Wing’s loyalty bias, maybe it’s my One-to-One subtype but for whatever reason, I actually commit deeply. I’ve been with my husband for 26 wonderful years. And it isn’t that I’m such a great or spiritual Seven, but that this just comes naturally to me. Commitment to work or a project: ditto.

Sure monkey mind, reframing, future-tripping,optimistic to a fault, pain averse - all these characteristics played a huge part in my personality. (Hopefully less so now.) But commitment difficulty; just not part of me. So it caught me off guard when I was so quickly and erroneously described vis a vis my Enneagram type. And when I attempted to correct the speaker, he smiled at me and said “Well, maybe you THINK you commit.”

Now I don’t think he meant any harm. Certainly I know that denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. And I will cop to all the annoying permutations of type that I have exhibited. But I felt dismissed. He didn’t want to know me - he thought he already did because he knew my type.

And I’ve heard countless similar stories from students. At work, a team tried to give a Four the responsibility for decorating an office because “Fours have great aesthetics.” She doesn’t. She likes beauty, especially in nature, but feels she has no color sense or ability in that particular area.

Or the One that was told that she must hold grudges because “All Ones do.” It wasn’t true for her. Although the rest of One, the inner critic, black and white thinking, even trapdoor activity she owned completely.

Or the woman who was lambasted by a coworker because she was an Eight and “could take it because Eights are tough.”

Stereotyping is hurtful. It hurts individuals and it hurts the Enneagram’s credibility. I have one friend who was stereotyped with the Enneagram by an ex and still shudders when he hears the word, Enneagram. He may never be open to it. And that is a shame.

The Enneagram is best used as an open inquiry; a common language to ask someone “What’s it like for you?” The minute we think we know someone because we know their type, the minute we name as it were, we stop ‘seeing’ them.

The Enneagram is only a starting place for our curiosity and delight in learning the inner terrain of another. It truly is like visiting another culture to visit another type, but then we must go deeper as we learn more about an individual who happens to live in that culture. And who may or may not follow all the customs in the guidebook.

Greed vs Generosity - Enneagram Inquiry III

I was talking with a friend about the question of greed. “Isn’t fear what really is underneath greed?” she asked. I think to an extent that is true. Still it is so much easier to notice greed in ourselves than it is to dig down to our fear (although the 24 hour news channels would have us believe that nearly everyone in the US. is terrified.).

What do we fear really? That there won’t be enough money, food, safety, etc.? Surely that is part of what drives our greedy impulses. But underneath that, is there something more hidden?

Can it be that we sometimes feel empty? Is there a space or void that needs to be filled, leading to grasping and greed. Anxiety and contraction may be part of this bargain. There won’t be enough ‘whatever” to fill it - I have to make sure I get enough. It’s pure survival.

Yet when we are aware and remember that we are Essence, remember that we ARE happiness, the hole is full. As it always was, allowing us to be more expansive, open, even generous.

What about generosity? Is it the opposite of greed or just part of a continuum? Can noticing generosity in ourselves with the energetic states and body awarenesses that accompany it lead to more generosity? And might we begin to become generous with ourselves as well as others? What might that look and feel like?

Generosity does not mean giving away the farm. Awareness can help us to know when to go to the grocery store and get our survival needs addressed and also when to let go, when we have enough in this moment, when we may give to others quite naturally.

In much the same way, the higher virtue for Nine, Love, is distinguished from indiscriminate merging. I live in a Niney culture in Hawaii. Native Hawaiians at one time gave away the farm (their land and way of life). That wasn’t generosity; that was sleep.

They’ve been reclaiming it slowly and like the awakened Nine now experience Aloha (Love) with boundaries. As one of the elders said recently, “You have to aloha yourself, otherwise you no can aloha anybody else.”

And what about Generosity with a capital G - essential Generosity. Essence is always there - how can we get out of our own way, so it may reveal itself to us and shine through us.

Over the next couple of weeks, let’s observe the ways that we experience generosity in ourselves, or recognize it in others and whether it increases by our noticing. Let us know what you learn. I’ll report back here - I hope you will as well.

Greed vs Generosity - Enneagram Inquiry II

Ever since the IEA (International Enneagram Association) meeting in Las Vegas, I’ve been pondering greed vs generosity. David Daniels, Russ Hudson, and Jessica Dibb presented a thought-provoking and heartfelt inquiry into the subject. (See blog entry dated August 6, 2009.)

And I kid you not, I was lost in thought about personal manifestations of greed when I saw this license plate in front of me. 14U24ME. Stunned, I took several photos through the windshield while driving with my other hand.

Now, I’m not pointing fingers at whoever has this license plate; for all I know it’s a family joke or some other such innocuous sentiment. That’s not the point. The point is that greed is so pervasive that we may not even notice its effect on and in our lives.

Greed. We don’t dispute its existence. We believe there is greed in the world and that it globally corrosive. Still it’s always “out there”- somewhere else - objectified. And maybe that is part of the problem.

Wall Street is greedy. The banks are greedy. Shareholders are greedy. Corporations are greedy. Oil companies, big business, developers. These “things” and faceless groups are greedy.

Distancing ourselves in this manner effectively keeps us from examining the roles greed plays in our own lives. And until we become aware of greed working within each of us, there will be no shifts in consciousness on a more global scale.

Through dyad exercises and a panel of all the types, the IEA presentation illuminated the different faces of personal greed vis a vis each of the nine Enneagram styles. David, Russ, and Jessica allowed us to discover the nuances of greed within ourselves. I’ll use myself and one of my personal greed permutations as an example.

When I’m in my Fiveish space, the Security Point for Seven, I might feel very proud of the fact that I don’t need more stuff or to go shopping. But in fact, my greed may show up very differently - in guarding my private time to the exclusion of loved ones, of withholding time and my presence.

How do I know if this is a product of normal healthy boundary setting or greed? By observing. By activating my inner observer, I can discern the difference. There is a grasping quality, even a desperation to greed. The energetic sense is quite different.

If I’m simply in need of a little time, the energy around that sensed desire feels calm, centered, quiet. I sense no body tightening or strictures and can give myself just enough time for self-care. No more, no less.

Driven by greed, I feel myself pull inside and tighten around my perceived need. I hold myself armored against intrusion. It feels like I might lose something. Energy or time or some ineffable something might be taken from me.

Watching greed within myself, without judgment, simply noticing, allows the relaxation of the stricture. I breathe into the here and now, rather than fearing the future intrusion that may never materialize. I can be present fully to myself and others.

The conversation is only beginning on this critical topic. Think about and/or comment on these questions. How does personal greed appear in your life? How is it related to your Enneagram type? How do you work with greed? And how does generosity play out in your life? Let us know your thoughts, feelings, sensations on the subjects of greed and generosity.

Greed vs Generosity - An Enneagram Inquiry

David Daniels, Russ Hudson, and Jessica Dibb conducted an important and meaningful session at the IEA (International Enneagram Association) gathering entitled “From Personal Greed to Essential Generosity: The Journey through the Shadow of
Inner Emptiness”.

A didactic intro to greed by David Daniels addressed a biological basis for greed in all mammals. Scarcity, real and imagined, can trigger greed as a survival mechanism. So there’s no blame here - but awareness might help us take a deeper look at greed within each of us.

Further, in the bigger picture, how is greed affecting us on a planetary scale? With so much “plenty” in the first world, how are we succumbing to an inner emptiness, a scarcity that cannot be remedied?

Jessica led a meditation where we were invited to look at greed in our own lives, and how it played out. We also journeyed to connect with our generosity; the ways in which we are open and giving rather than constricted and grasping. Most important was to notice these states without judging.

We broke into dyads and did an exercise of alternating listener and questioner, examining greed and generosity with the lens of our Enneagram types. Essential generosity was a necessary part of the inquiry.

David and Russ then led a panel of each of the nine types. The exemplars revealed their experiences vis a vis their type with greed, generosity, and Essential Generosity. Over and over, regardless of type, greed was experienced as constricting while generosity felt spacious. Noticing body sensations can be a helpful adjunct to the inner observer in illuminating greed vs. generosity.

The inquiry into greed and generosity is critical at this time. Our resources are finite, the world population is growing, and the earth is warming.

As the spiritual texts and teachers say “As Above, So Below”. Addressing personal greed, cultivating awareness of our fullness rather than emptiness, and allowing Essential Generosity to shine through may indeed be some of the most important work we undertake. Ever. Let’s begin a conversation with ourselves and one another to illuminate the shadow of greed right now.